Behind the Scenes of Oasis

Like many, I feel a sense of purpose in helping others. Most of us have experienced some kind of loss through this pandemic, whether that’s a house, a job, or a loved one. I wanted to create something that can help people going through grief.

I too have experienced a loss. Through this pandemic, my father had to close down Yama, his sushi restaurant on 49th street in NYC. To me, this place was a part of my childhood. Growing up, I felt so proud to have a dad who ran an amazing restaurant in such an iconic city. Yama was also my small safe haven. I felt comfortable commuting everyday to the city to attend The New School knowing that if I needed anything, I could just take the 6 train to my dad. This restaurant that had provided life to our family for 21 years had to come to an abrupt end, and with it a part of my childhood as well. (By the way, our family is doing fine! luckily—the original restaurant near Union Square is still in business.)

While I was going through the wavering emotions of grief, I stumbled upon the concept of the “stages of grief” while browsing the internet. After looking into it further and started to apply it to myself, this concept helped me feel less lost with how to view grief. It taught me that despite going through these unpleasant emotions such as anger and depression, in the end there are hopeful stages like feeling acceptance.

This is why I wanted to create oasis: an experience that provides an informative, meditative, and immersive experience about the 6 stages of grief using a 3D game platform as its medium. A mother-like character will guide the player through 6 different environments, each representing the stages of grief introduced by psychiatrist Kübler-Ross. 

Of course, oasis is not meant to cure grief altogether. In fact, Kübler-Ross didn’t expect that when she wrote her book, On Death and Dying, about the stages of grief. As she put it, “It’s not a map but it provides some scaffolding for this unknown world.” That’s exactly what I felt it did for me when I first learned about the stages of grief, and I created oasis in the hopes that maybe it can provide some scaffolding for someone else as well.

Another reason why I wanted to create oasis was because I wanted to take this chance to express my artistic voice and skills. I’ve always studied art, I think about it everyday, and I have been for years. If I spot a unique plant when I’m walking outside, I take a picture of it—imagining one day I’ll use it as a reference for when I design a stage in a game or draw some scenery. Whenever I scroll through instagram, if I find a cool looking outfit or hairstyle, I save it in my “Character Design” folder. When I’m drinking water from a new glass cup and the light reflecting off of it looks interesting, I take a video and imagine one day I’ll use it for fluid animation inspiration. I study sound design tailored for a specific game and how it enhances the overall gameplay experience. This way of thinking was so integrated into my lifestyle that when I first got to know my boyfriend, I thought it was abnormal for him to not think about art at all. 

Throughout my life I looked up to artists such as Bjork, David O’Reilly, and Miyazaki Hayao, who create revolutionary, expressive, and personal works. I thought maybe, one day, I’ll get to try and express myself artistically like how they did. That small hope, plus the pressure of considering art as one of my largest assets has kept me constantly thinking about art. 

But what was this all for? I dreamed that one day I’d make something great, but first I have to pay off my student loan debt, try to find an internship and job, while finishing college, all while being pressured to move out of my parent’s house. What if I don’t get a job? What if I become homeless and I am put in a situation where it’d be much harder to get back up on my feet again? How am I supposed to pay for health insurance? How am I supposed to afford a house? Unfortunately, these are real fears that not only I face, but many of my peers do as well. 

Despite all of these fears, I realized that if I was going to utilize what I’ve been preparing for all these years, this was one of the best chances I may ever get in a while to create something that is truly personal. This project is one of the closest pieces that I’ve made to what I one day hoped to create, but felt so far away from me. A piece that I would have probably never felt confident enough to create if it weren’t for the education, professors, peers, and loved ones that supported me throughout my college career. I cannot be grateful enough.

I came up with the idea of oasis by thinking about how I can create a piece combining knowledge of visual art creation and technology, social good, and practicality. This actually follows a formula called “ikigai chart” that is used for figuring out your purpose in life. You basically ask these four questions: What do you love?What are you good at?What does the world need?What can you make money out of?

Even if one writes down the answers to these questions, it takes a while to figure out what fits in all four of these categories harmoniously. I let my mind ruminate on this topic for days until one night, as I was trying to sleep, I thought it’d be cool to try and come up with visual designs inspired by the 6 stages of grief. I thought it’d be even more intriguing to have a mother-like figure guide people through the stages of grief.

From working on this project I learned that it’s okay for me to create things outside of just doing what is immediately needed in society. I learned that people care about my personal ideas and creations—not only that, they are excited for it! I also learned that I am capable of creating a project of this scale. This now opens new doors to connect with other like-minded people that appreciate similar things as I do: social good, design, technology, and innovation. I learned the importance of not being afraid to ask for help and listen to as much feedback as possible. It’s my hope that by depicting the stages of grief, other people can feel even a little bit of structure and stability in a very unstable experience such as grief.