Elise Lara

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A memoir about how aspects I remember from when I was a child have carried over into my life as I know it now and shaped who I am as a person:

I remember the strong smell of coffee beans coming from the small space underneath my door. For a moment I thought I was still dreaming. My eyes slowly opened as I felt the warm sun on my eyelids. My curtains were paper thin so light came in with ease. I would kick the blankets off myself as I found this to be the most efficient way to remove them. I gradually slid off my bed onto the rug below me. As I made my way to the bathroom the smell grew stronger. My mind and body became more aware of what was going on around me. I had to go to school. I shared a room with my sister at the time. She’s four and a half years younger than me. Regardless of her age we both had to be woken up at the same time. We were allowed to choose our own outfits. Always so very vibrant. Every article of clothing we wore had to make up each and every color of the rainbow. As for headwear, it was always a headband or a bow. And don’t forget the pony tail! My dad helped us get ready in the morning because my mom would have already left for work by the time we woke up. The only lights illuminating the first floor were the tall lamp in between the kitchen and living room and Teen Titans Go. My dad had put that show on every morning up until high school. It became a kind of tradition if you will. The only reason it didn’t last past high school was because the time we had together in the morning had lessened. I remember still being as picky as ever (much like I am now) with my food. I never really liked eating cold foods in the morning but I would always be given cereal. I do miss sitting at the dining room table, watching all the pretty colors and shapes on the tv move before me creating something that would grasp my attention so greatly. Before you know it I had a freshly poured bowl of cereal right in front of my face. Nowadays all I have time for in the morning is to get up, get dressed, brush my teeth and head out the door, but I digress. I remember going down the hallway to say good morning to my grandpa. He and I moved into that household at the same time, he was a lot older than me of course, but still. All throughout elementary school my sister and I would be dropped off by either our dad or our grandpa, due to our close proximity with the school. The bell rang at 9:15 so we had to be out of the house by 9:05 so we wouldn’t be late. I preferred being driven to school as I was not the biggest fan of the bus. It was either too hot or too cold. I was always the first stop so I had to be ready very early during my middle school and some of my high school years. It felt so surreal getting my driver’s license and being able to drive myself to school. In that moment I started to really feel like I was growing up. Being able to have my own job, make my own money, drive myself and my friends places, not having to rely on my parents for every single little thing anymore (only occasionally). Living basically on my own now is when I really started to reminisce about these things that once were. I get a sort of melancholy feeling. It’s saddening to know that my life will never be as simple as it was when I was younger, but at the same time it is exciting to learn how many new opportunities are in store for me. This is the time to truly figure out who I am but without losing myself along the way. I’m not sure where I’ll be in ten years but I know I’ll be the same me that I am now. I will still be sensitive to certain sounds, smells and lights. I will still have the same sense of humor. I will be successful in the path I pursue. I will still remember the simpler times in my life, and those sounds and smells will have different meaning to them. The smell of coffee in the morning will no longer be created by either of my parents but by myself. Making a cup for my significant other of course because I don’t like drinking coffee. The sounds from the tv will not be made by childrens cartoons but rather the local news channel, and the colors being emitted will not be as vibrant as they once were, but more dulled down. The world will still be a darker place than what the child in me saw, but I will continue to try and look for those brighter places. I hope that future me meets some really cool new people, while still maintaining the cool people I have in my life now. I hope I will have visited the Eiffel Tower because it has always been my dream to do so. I want to travel the world, see new things, have new experiences, learn amazing new details about the people and the world around me. But even after doing all that I will still think back to my youth and all it has given me. No matter how old I get I will still have the creativity and imagination my parents had instilled in me. I will see the world in a different light but with more knowledge. I will remember the wise words taught to me by my family and my teachers. All the people who helped me become me. Every event that has occurred in my life so far is painting a picture. Every person that I have encountered along the way. Every little bit of guidance I have attained. Every painful experience I have endured. All of these events are like tiny pieces to a large puzzle. Someday I hope to finish this puzzle we call life. Feeling fulfilled with what I have made of it. In the course of time, all of these things will just become “I remembers. ” And that’s when I’ll know that all of this was worth it in the end.